Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional seven months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound...apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say,'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

3 comments:

Richmond said...

"I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing."

Heh - now that's me!! :)

The Gray Monk said...

I've taken up jogging. I do four laps round the block as soon as I get up.

Then I kick it back under the bed and get the coffee going.

vw bug said...

Richmond: me too
Gray Monk: that is very funny!!!