More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Two IT guys were talking in a bar after work. "Guess what," says the first IT guy, "I met this gorgeous blonde in a bar."

"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.

"Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me to take all her clothes off!"

"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.

"Nope." says IT guy one. "I took her miniskirt off, and then I lifted her up and put her on my desk, next to my new laptop."

"Really?" asked the second IT guy. "You got a new laptop?"

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Turn up your speaks and enjoy.

Laughter is contagious

Angel or a New Hat?

Something to make you smile (click to enlarge... really, try it):

Finally Frigid in Florida

Eeek... it got cold last night. From 80s to 40s is just too much for this Florida Female. Yep, stuck on F words.



It should not be this cold at 7:45am in Florida.

Are We There Yet?

Yesterday, all I could think of are the different cartoons I have seen with that punch line. And that is probably the only thing that kept Tater alive. Once, I told him if he said "Can we play on the computer now?" again he wouldn't get to play it all. He didn't mention again for 2 hours. When he did mention it again it was in a round about manner. On the lines of "when we play, can I play Star War Lego's One first? And it will be soon won't it?"

It started because of that party on Saturday we had to attend. Dad said "Let's play on the computer early so I can play with them". Uhhhh. Not going to happen again. It is a nightmare to get them back on track. I believe the answer in the future is, we will play at 3pm or not at all. Ugh.

Was busy yesterday, busy today. Will try to get some announcements out (yep, looks like I get to give blogbirth to an already up and running child), a meme or two and some stories of the boys. Later Allligator!

Updated SideBar

Hmmm. Seems I have added to my RSS list but not my side bar. There are some really cool sites missing.... like:

Raising 4 Boys
Get a Life (A newbie to the blog world and LeeAnn's offspring)
Maranda Under Stress

Frizzen Sparks is alive at THIS LINK now. It is also updated in my side bar.

If I have missed anyone... oops... just email me or leave a comment.

UPDATE: to the update... I added One for the Road to my sidebar as well. Thanks to Sticks for noticing!!!

What Do You Cook?

Today I was putting together our grocery list. And I looked at what we had eaten over the last couple of weeks... This is what it looked like:

Steak
Spaghetti with Meatballs
Herbed Chicken
Honey-mustard chicken
Skillet beef 'n noodles
Spicy chicken
Spicy chicken with noodles (different spices than the spicy chicken)
Chalupas from AWTM
Creamy chicken-broccoli noodles
Savory chicken breasts

This week:
Chicken and dumplins
Stuffed zucchini
cajun pasta
garlic onion chicken with rice
tomato rice soup with ham
chicken brown rice primavera
mexican chicken and rice

Though I have no plans for what to cook today. Sigh. What do you cook for dinner? Any ideas what I could feed my family tonight? Something easy and quick?

Overload

Mom went into meltdown today. Overloaded, over stimulated, headache, you name it. I went to a birthday party for one of Tater's classmates. There were at least 25 children at this party. About 20 too many for this mom. I don't feel responsible for any child but my own... but I have a hard time as I watched a red headed kid put his hand in Tater's face or another kid push Tot out of the bounce house. All in fun but not funny in my eyes. And the worse part. The mother's of those two were no where in sight.

That wasn't the only thing that happened, and nothing was major. But too much for me. I came home, told my husband I needed space and went outside. I touched trees, pulled weeds and watched birds fly around. After about 15 minutes I was almost human again.

My kids loved it. My hubby was smart and went to work while we went to the party. Sigh...

I might be up to posting tomorrow... then again I may go into hiding again. We'll see if I get any sleep tonight. I saw that the wax myrtles are now in bloom. Ugh.

Cuteness

We had a set of girl twins over to the house today to play. One of the twins, A1, is in Tater's preschool class. The other twin, A2, is in the other 4 year old class. Both girls have long blond hair and look sweet. They are all tomboys.

It was hilarious watching the 4 kids together. First the girls went crazy over the GeoTrax train set. Must have been 20 minutes playing with it. Did I mention that my boys were playing with the Imaginex castle and knights?

Finally they started playing together. Running around. And suddenly I hear from Tater, "Mom, can we watch a dvd?". Sure. They pick out Disney Music and I put it in. Tater sits on the couch and A2 goes and sits on the loveseat. Something is said by Tater, I didn't catch it. I do hear A2 say "I want to sit here". Tater gets up and sits beside her. It was very sweet. A1 continues to play with trains and Tot takes up the whole couch. Amazing how long that boy can be when he stretches out.

Over all, it was fun and the kids played together most of the time. Interested now to have a girl over Tot's age to see what happens.

Marshmallow Fun

Nothing like trying something new. I just couldn't resist trying to make marshmallows with the boys. Here is what the first round looked like:



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And this is what was on my mixer:



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It came out more like taffy than marshmallows. Though I notice the boys (including hubby) keep eating it.

The next round I made by myself came out light and fluffy... still very sticky - not taffy sticky. But much better. Not so 'compacted' either, it filled the whole pan easily. Nope, not sure what I did differently. No telling when the kids are helping me. I must have misread something somewhere on the first go round.

Better Spider Picture

Everyone seemed to think I could reach this spider or it could get to me. Nope, it is at the top of my screened in porch. I use the zoom to try and get pictures. Then again, it could always drop down on my head I guess. GRIN. Still, I thought this turned out to be a really cool picture. Click to Enlarge:

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

My mom sent me these 'possible' super bowl ads (and Richmond found them on youTube for me!)!

cockatoo:




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parrots:

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a go od source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Camera Hounds

Tater and Tot could not resist getting their picture taken... and posed over and over and over again:



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Presents For The Boys

The boys are very lucky. They get the best clothes from their grandparents. We were lucky to have them come by this weekend and enjoy time with the kids. Even luckier for me... new clothes for the boys. I swear my kids grow on a daily basis. Here is a sample of what Tot got:



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And Tater wanted to show off his new sweater:

Look What I Can Do!!!

Tot walks up to me in the kitchen and says "Mom, look at me". I turn to see this:



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I laughed out loud and grabbed the camera. After I took the picture, he said... "Take a picture of me mom" and did it again. So I did!



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Silly child... now where did he learn that????

Florida Weather

Some days it just pays to be in Florida...



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Been a busy couple of days. Tired, kids have colds and too many things to get done. Hope everyone is doing well... hope to catch up on my reading of blogs soon!

UPDATE: Look at Thursday night!

Stephen King Has Nothin' Compared to Me

Thanks to Sticks, I had a title for this post. That and Tink putting out THIS POST. Ohhh... and the vultures. The other day, while my internet and phone service was out, my neighbor came over to the front door and knocked on it. Scared me as I wasn't expecting anyone. And here is the conversations we had:

Neighbor: Is Happy Dog ok?
Me: Huh? yaaa, why?
Neighbor: Look at the number of vultures on your roof and in your yard. I was worried. If he is ok, what died?
Me: Well, there was a dead small gator and raccoon across the street in the swell.
Neighbor: Hmm. That might be it, but boy are there are lot of vultures.

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No kidding, there were over 200 vultures... that was when I stopped counting. Here are a few pictures of that day:



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And this is NOT the whole set I could have shown. I should have known it was a sign... a sign that I was going to lose phone and internet. ARGHHHHHHHH.

Yaa. I was not a happy camper. Bellsouth (now AT&T) got an earful from me. And yes, it was followed up with an email. I might lose internet again next week. They are sending me a new 'modem' since the one I have is no longer on their list of supported modems. I have an 'old' modem. blhhhhhhhhh. Which you can see is working just fine. Another one of those 'issues' they tried to hide behind instead of fixing the problem. I feel a rant coming on, I'm signing off and going to play with my kids. Also, the in-laws are here and I should really pay attention to them as well.

UPDATE: There is even a better Stephen King 'story' over HERE.

A Worthy Conclusion

to bug's vulture problem. Curtesy of our mother:

The Bug has been zapped. Told her she shouldn't have put that bug zapper out; but did she listen to me? Noooooo. She has no internet connection as the line has been cut by another utility company (ie. the water company).

She is so NOT in a good mood. So if you plan on visiting this weekend, I would highly suggest you stay away (not the blog of course, because I will periodically jump in here to leave some gems of wisdom; but from her personally.)

She does apologize to those with whom she had made a commitment for this evening (you know who you are. Don't you?) but doesn't at this time know when she may be getting her connection back.

Of course, you realize that I haven't even posted on my blog for the last day or two and here she has me writing up hers for her.

Oh I know what to say.... I got an Oscar Meyer wienie whistle this morning when the Weinermobile stopped by the office (perks of working for a newspaper). But it just rolled over everyone's head when I mentioned how jealous Judge Reinhold is going to be.

Okay, I've got to get back to work now so I will see you later.

Tuesday Morning

I walked out to the driveway on Tuesday morning to 'sneak' some more trash out in the trash cans and this is what I saw (click to enlarge picture):



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I hope they leave soon... it has started to creep me out.

This Is The Way We Make A Mess

I decided to try some new 'organic' all purpose flour. This meant fun for the boys. Bread from scratch!



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I must remember to turn the TV off when we are working in the kitchen together:



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Someone stopped by and while I was talking to them out front, there ended up flour all over the floor. Tater was a sweetie, because when I came back in he was trying to clean it up. I vacuumed the flour and my boys and cleaned it up. Next time I will have to just tell them I'll get with them later. Sigh... must engage brain when children are around... ohhh wait... that means it must be working 24x7. Sigh... not going to happen. GRIN

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

A friend sent me this today:

Maxine on Border Control.....



Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, wild animals attacking humans in Florida.

Not me. I concentrate on solutions to problems. The result is a win-win-win situation:

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border

+ Use the dirt to raise the levies in New Orleans

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Most of these are self explanatory...

Redneck Pictures:



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A New Neighbor

First a couple of these guys moved onto our back porch:



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Which someone told me was not poisonous... they might be but I can't figure out how to look them up to see what they are. Then a new type of spider moved in... this one worries me... it 'looks' poisonous ... ok, to me it does... anyone know what it is?



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Never a dull moment around here.

They Don't Have 2 Kids and a Dog

I posted that 'Dusted' yesterday because sometimes stuff like that helps me get in perspective. Though, whoever wrote that did NOT have 2 kids and a dog and live on a dirt road. Trust me... I have to vacuum constantly or we would be knee deep in dirt. Speaking of which. I have had a week of major sleep deprivation and posting will be light for the next 2 days. I'll get the pictures and stories out as soon as I can start thinking again.

Dust, dust, dust

Dusting

"A house becomes a home when you can write "I love you" on the furniture."

I can't tell you how many countless hours that I have spent CLEANING!

I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect -- "in case someone came over." Then I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!

Now, when people visit, I find no need to explain the "condition" of my home. They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun. If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice.

Life is short. Enjoy it!

Dust if you must, but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter,bake a cake or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time, with rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind. And when you go -- and go you must -- you, yourself will make more dust!

Words, words, words...

Word happy... I did ok. I guess I need to pull out the ol' dictionary and check some of those words out. I have seen them in use (or heard them)... all of them. Sigh. My memory just isn't what it use to be.

Hat tip to Tink.

Your Vocabulary Score: B

You have a zealous love for the English language, and many find your vocabulary edifying. Don't fret that you didn't get every word right, your vocabulary can be easily ameliorated!

How's Your Vocabulary?

Plant Insanity

Remember that little tomato plant that came up in my Gardenia? Here it is now ... with 14 tomatoes:



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And Tater's plant that he started in PreSchool...

What Kind of Food Are You?

Hat Tip to TINK

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Interesting choice it gave me. What kind of food are you?

Here Vulture, Vulture, Vulture

Seems we have been taken over by Vultures! Here are a few that liked my fence:



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They decided to roost in a tree nearby:



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What's next?

Webcam for Our Soldiers

I love having a webcam to talk to my sister and my mom. The kids enjoy it even more... (when it's working), so I will mention this particular post from Iowa Geek.

Anyone want to help? I would love to be able to send a few webcams over. I know that when my brother was gone the emails and phone calls were great but it would have been so nice to see his face.

How can you help? Well, here are some options:
You can get a webcam for about $20. If you want to use Amazon I have search link below on the left side of the blog. If you want to buy one and send it to me I will send it on.

If you want to donate money for this cause I guarantee that every penny will be used for this cause. I have a PayPal account with the email JLHalsted(at)hotmail(dot)com.

I do not have the amazon link but please head over to Iowa Geek... or if you have an old webcam (with disk) get in touch with them.

Clean up, clean up, everyone every where

I had the chance to do 2 hours of cleaning the other day. I buckled down and decided what I would get done. I cleaned off a shelf in the garage (and this means I put every thing from the shelf to where it belonged) and put boxes of labeled books on it. Just that little bit took the whole 2 hours. Yikes!

Here are some of my books that I'm boxing up:



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And here is the finished shelf in the garage:



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The worst part is I have more to do... lots more to do. Sigh.

Fat Lip and Oxiclean

Yesterday was more than entertaining. Calling the doctor's office, calling Bou (who has 3 older boys), and just trying to do my best. Now for the story...

I fed my boys lunch outside on the back porch. I went in to make my sandwich after warning them to quit playing crash trains. Next thing I know there is a cry of pain from outside. I run out to see Tot with blood all over his mouth and crying. First thing out of my mouth was... Tater did you hit Tot with a train? Ding... not the best response from a mom. Sigh. Motherhood can be soooo hard. Next was what happened? But Tot wouldn't stop crying and tell me. I then asked Tater what happen. He said Tot fell on the cement and hit his mouth. Oh no!

I could not get Tot to let me touch his mouth. He kept covering it with his sleeve or his hand. Sigh. I picked him up and held him while calling the doctor's office. They told me all the common sense stuff... get some ice or popsicle in his mouth to slow down the bleeding. Check to see if it went through the mouth. Later Bou reminded me to check for a chip tooth.

Here is a picture of my hubby's sweatshirt I was wearing (remember Tot kept covering his mouth with his own sleeve):



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Turns out that he just had the tooth go in the bottom of his inside lip and come out the top of his inside lip... I have a picture of it but thought better than to post it.

But the coolest thing of all? Watching the oxiclean on the blood. It's better than Peroxide on a cut. Normally I have no thoughts on oxiclean one way or another... but here is proof that it actually worked:



I could not get the long sleeve shirt off of Tot, so I doubt the blood will come out of that one... oh well. Is it the weekend yet?

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UPDATE:And here is a picture I took this morning of Tot... notice the 3 red spots under his lip... that is where teeth tried to come through. Ugh.

Why Bother With a Sling

It makes me wonder why they give us a sling. Take a look as we walk down the street:



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Having a great time with Uncle B... but notice the sling:



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Yep... that sling is on his back 3/4's of the time. Sigh.... 2 more weeks. 2 more weeks. 2 more weeks.

Cyborg Name

hat tip to Ogre... this was just too hilarious... I had to post it.

Get Your Cyborg Name

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

This just proves that we have become too dependent on our computers.

Are you male or female?

To find out the answer, "LOOK DOWN"..........
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C'mon, Not here, "LOOK DOWN".. Not Scroll down

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her.

In fact, he even told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like he was unimportant. He said that he felt as insignificant as a tiny pebble.

"Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl you'll just have to be a little boulder!"

Laugh Out Loud

I was talking to my mom about how a wrote out a grocery list and then proceeded to lose it the same day. Then my mom sent me this:



I laughed out loud when I saw it. Perfect, just perfect.

Voice Over IP

Even though we have a family plan that I can talk to Mamaw on the cell phone without 'using minutes', the kids can now talk to her over the computer. Tot l.o.v.e.s it. Every day he asks if he can call Mamaw on the computer. Luckily she is not always home at that time. Otherwise I would have my computer being used all the time!



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Isn't this just too cute for words???

Call The Police

Someone call the police!!! There are strepitous instruments being played some where in my neighborhood. Oh wait... those are my children making that noise:



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I am surprised the neighbors did not call me and ask what was going on at my house. Either people are not home at 4pm in the afternoon or they don't care...