Tuesday, December 19, 2006

You Can Lead A Horse To Water

but you can't make him drink... Harvey reminded me of that saying in my comments... only I would change it to:

You can put a child to sleep, but you can't keep them there.

Last night Tot woke up screaming for R2D2. Ughh. From 2am to 4am. The night before? Happy Dog was sick around 2am. Before that? My Hubby had a coughing fit, twice. Should I keep going? Tater was up for 2 nights with bad congestion... repeat the 3 nights before that for Tot. Ya....

To keep me in the holiday spirit, a friend sent me this picture:

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It's amazing what people will send you... I must say, I liked this better... you need someone to remind you of common sense when you are tired:

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


wRitErsbLock said...

#11. Um, no. I turn 30 soon, and I intend to have a party and have people make a fuss.

Ogre said...

Oh dear. #1 had me laughing out loud!

Lemon Stand said...

Ogre, #1? No way! 16 was PERFECT!!!! :o)

GUYK said...

well, there are some people who can lead a horse to water and make it drink..but it takes at least two..one to hold its head underwater and the other to suck its....wait, this is a family blog...

PrimoDonna said...

I think we should stay on daylight savings time all year 'round. I completely agree with #13. Thanks for the funny list.