Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

2 comments:

Tink said...

Check this out for something special:

http://tinkstribulations.blogspot.com/2008/07/some-days-are-just-better-than.html

The Gray Monk said...

It also generates an element called Inertium which increases its mass as Governmentium is converted to Administratium. As the mass of Inertium increases it causes a cumulative downward drag on Productivium and Entrepenurium which causes the money supply to become concentrated around Administratium - causing the creation of even more Inertium.