Ok, having children is always a learning experience. It is just a matter of deciding which child can be the grossest (is that a word? If not, it is now in this household). Yesterday #2 Son waited until I was 2 feet away, walking back with a papertowel to clean him with, to put his index finger covered with cereal and apricots up his nose to the second knuckle. UGH. Watching that or cleaning it out… not sure which was worse. Then #1 Son had a BM (*) with an uneaten fully formed ½ a grape in it. Double UGH. The things I stop them from doing make me wonder about what would happen if you just let them do what they want.
#1 Son tried to pick up Dog Poop. Luckily it was the neighbor’s small dog that did it and not #1 DogSon. Also, I stopped him before he was able to reach it. #2 Son tried to eat a bug. Stopped him too. Of course I remember pulling ½ a roach out of #1 Son’s mouth one day when he was much younger. Definitely GROSS. For the first time in my life I almost threw up immediately. And this is from the woman, while dissecting a frog in the 10th grade, took the feet we had cut off and put them on pencils and made little dances with them. The point being that it takes a lot to make me sick.
So if you are squeamish, don’t have kids. Or make sure you have someone around to help when all this gross stuff happens. What am I going to face when they get older????
2 comments:
Ahhhh boys. Yep, brace yourself.
I don't have a gross story, mainly because the boys were a bit older when I married their dad, but I do have a funny one I've actually commented on before.
My ex loved to pull practical jokes on the boys. So when we moved out to the country we had lots of joke fodder. We lived on 80 acres, surrounded by electrical fencing.
His initiation joke was downright mean. Each of the boys had to walk the fence line with their dad. To learn how to splice and what to look for. This was done on a one to one basis. They'd get out to the back of the property and eventually the kid would have to pee (it's a boy's instinct). He'd talk them in to trying to pee on the fence. Each one of them was intent on doing what ever Dad challenged them to. So they'd do it. OUCH!!! And out of excess pride, and the desire to see their brother suffer the same fate, they'd keep the secret.
He went through all 3 boys and 9 of the nephews by the time I left. Not nice, but it was pretty damn funny!!!
Tammi - I learned young to touch hot wires with the back of my hand. Only took once to touch it with the fingers / palm and have my muscles contract around the wire. I was lucky it was a pulsating hot wire!!!!
Sally - that sounds ominous. I guess I am forwarned!
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