Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Creation - This Explains It All!


On the first day, God created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone Who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life Span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Date Day

It's only a couple of weeks away. My mom is heading into town to visit for two weeks. During this time, I will whisk my husband away for a couple of hours. In fact, I'm going to go buy some clothes this week for this day. I will also be able to use the clothes for any other occasion that might come my way.

Yes, Date Day. We are more likely to go to lunch than out for dinner. My kids still get some of that 'witchy' moment around dinner time and will not force my mom to deal with it. Though, we might sneak out after they are in bed!!! Ahhhh... choices are soon headed my way.

Unusual Flower

It amazes me how in the middle of 'winter' I can get such a beautiful flower in my yard:



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Couldn't resist showing green grass and flowers in February.

Something New For Happy Dog

Since they are installing city water... they are also installing....



Fire hydrants. Yep, what a great new item for HappyDog to pee on... just like in the cartoons. ;-)

Yaa. I'm still tired... more stories later.

Before The Broken Foot

They are digging up the swales for city water pipes. We were lucky enough to have them put the dirt in front of our house. That is my neighbor's house you see across the street with the 'money eater'... aka boat.



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Now some pictures of the boys having fun. For those up north... notice the green grass, the green trees and the short sleeve shirts. Yep, it is sunny in south Florida.



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Broken Bones

Tis' the year for broken bones. Tater hurt his foot on Thursday. I took him Friday morning to have it checked out. He fractured a bone in his foot. And his foot is soooo wide they had to sew an extra piece on so it would velcro across his foot.



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Tater had to show it off!



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Without the 'removable' cast, he was pretty laid back. Once the cast was on... there was no stopping him. Jedi knight to the rescue!



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Removable... NOT. That cast has a bunch of velcro straps. We finally broke down and took it off last night for his bath. Side note: The doctor said he was to wear it 23 1/2 hours. He could take it off for a bath. I didn't want to take it off at all. What a pain it was to get it all back on correctly. Hope I can convince him just to hang his leg out of the tub tonight. ;-)

Odd Tidbits

While taking a few moments to actually visit blogs, I found a few I wanted to share:

A better way to see movie ratings for children. Check out THIS POST from Raising 4 Boys.

In many different blogs I have heard about Zafu and their ability to fit jeans to you. Definitely interesting. And the last blog I remember seeing it was Iowa Geek.

Distorted Tunes Test. Yes I took it and here are my results:

Hearing Test Results

You correctly identified 25 tunes (out of 26) on the Distorted Tunes Test. Congratulations! You have a fine sense of pitch.

Thank you for taking the Distorted Tunes Test.

Found this test at News From the Great Beyond. Tink and Mom, you can stop laughing now. I really did that well on it. Hard to believe... but true.

And there are a ton of time wasters our there. The most recent I saw was Asteroids over at Letters from New York City. Enjoy.

All Dressed Up

Lately I have been a little overwhelmed with life. It's getting back on course but will probably take me the weekend to recover. Until then... I just can't help but smile every time I see this picture of Tater... hope it makes you smile as well!



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What a different a year and a half make. Or even just 7 months ago...

Cool Dude

Some pictures of a "cool dude":



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Snorkling In Ohio

Since this is not exactly work safe... You shouldn't get in trouble for it, but just in case... press "More Pawprints" to see the picture.

I thought it should have another label... any suggestions???

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Just a little disappointed.... I had been sent a great YouTube video on Tech Support. When I went to check it out this morning before posting it... it had been removed by the user. Sigh... it was frick'n hilarious. Actually, I found it in another language... but unless you speak that language, I'm not sure you will get it without the english interpretation...

Which means I will leave you with this oldie but goodie that I love:

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab,nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab.... I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years..

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

It's still February... so I couldn't resist posting some Valentine humor:

What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine's Day?
I love you a ton!

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
It made him wed his plants!

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
Because you always heart the one you love!

What did the boy bat say to the girl bat on Valentine's Day?
You're fun to hang around with!

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?
You're purrr-fect for me!

What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine's Day?
You mean a great dill to me!

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
"I've got a crutch on you!"

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.

What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

Chippendale in Training

Here is the latest Chippendale in training... or he is trying to see how dizzy he can get... either way, I could not resist taking pictures and even laughed harder once I saw them!



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What a cutie. He is going to shoot me when he gets older for this one. ;-)

When It Was Warm

When it was warm out a couple of days ago, it rained. I couldn't resist taking a picture of the nice green grass and plants. They loved the rain. On the other hand... I had to find something for the boys to do.



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We decided to have a picnic inside.



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I knew those old sheets would come in useful. It was fun. Even Happy joined in on the picnic.

It's COLD

Harvey got this POSTCARD from Florida. Well, Harvey, you can laugh now. And Mrs. Who can cry. It is NOT suppose to be this cold in South Florida.

A Test For Old Kids

The answers are printed below (click on More Pawprints), but don't you cheat.

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on ________________________.

03. Get your kicks, ___________________."

04. The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed ________________________."

05.In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ____________________."

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we "danced" under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the "____________."

07. "N_E_S_T_L_E_S", Nestle's makes the very best....... _________________."

08. Satchmo was America's "Ambassador of Goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was ________________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? ________________

10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named _____________________and Red always ended his television show by saying, "Good Night, and __________________".

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their _______________________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW . What other names did it go by? ____________________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music died."This was a tribute to ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called _________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ______________________________________________________!


And I would love to know how you did!!! Leave a comment or send an email.

With a Shake Shake Here and

There are no words to describe watching 18 four year olds dancing. They paired off and did the waltz. Afterwards they did the Macarana and Y.M.C.A.... Watching Tater put his hands on his hips and shake that butt just had me smiling from ear to ear!!!

Couldn't You Just Snuggle?

There are days when my boys just make me want to snuggle up next to them. One is when they end up on the couch like this:



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And this is why Tot has so many problems when he gets a runny nose!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day

My boys had a special night with Dad for Valentine's via their preschool. This is what they made for him:



I think that was a wonderful idea on the part of the planners.

You Know, the Three Handed Guy

Out of the blue Tater asked me what was the name of the three handed guy. Huh? It took me a few moments but I realized we had watched Inspector Gadget the day before and he had 'three hands'. One that pops out of his hat! Phew. That was exactly what he wanted to talk about. A great guess on mom's part. I just hope I know what they are watching and playing... otherwise, I might just come up with the wrong answer!

Birthday Party Fun

The boys got to go to a birthday party for a boy in Tater's class where there was a 'hired' firetruck. In fact, one of the things you got to do was hold the hose as it was squirting water out of it. I only had my cell phone with me... but here are the pictures:



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Just a head's up. Posting (and reading of other blogs) will be light this week. I have 2 parties to get ready for (the boys at preschool... yaa I was stupid and offered to help for both), appointments and a whole lot more. And this was the only post I got done ahead of time.

Bubble Bath?

What a weekend. Later I will go into the details of the insanity of our lives, but tonight, I leave you with a 'boy' thing. I walked into the bathroom to get Tot out of the tub. Dad was in watching Tot while I played with Tater. And now it was Tater's turn. Dad looks at me and grins that silly grin... oh no... Dad ... "guess what Tot discovered?" Me ... "What did Tot discover?" Dad ... "That if you fart in tub full of water it makes bubbles"... Then Tot had the biggest grin on his face and told me "it was stinky too". Someone please help me.

More Quotable Quotes

It is sad when your friend knows you well enough to say this about the Valentine's test:

You do realize it is that whole lack of sleep thing. You must've been VERRRRY mellow when you took that test. The part that had me bust out laughing was, 'A total charmer'. What? When? there is nothing charming about either of us!! Unless of course one likes the blunt and insensitive types. Sheesh!

Hence why I laughed so hard when I read what it said about me. My hubby is the romantic one in this family. I want pots, pans, garden tools, and the like for presents but my hubby will surprise me with other little goodies like my favorite chocolates. Me? If he doesn't tell me what he wants, he usually doesn't get anything. I hate guessing. That bluntness factor.

NOTE: Thanks Sticks. Hope this works and you can see them now!!!

Quotable Quotes

Tink told me on the phone "My computer went down on me again today", as I was relaying this to Sticks... Sticks said "When you have a computer that can do that who needs a man!"

Yaa. I was laughing when my sister said it and even harder with Sticks response.

Quit Laughing, It's Perfect!

hat tip to wRitErsbLock

Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie"

You always seem to have a hot date, even though you never try to meet anyone. A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people Your flirting style: 100% natural What turns you off: serious relationship talks Why you're hot: you're totally addicting

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

With a Cough Cough Here

What a week. Last night I had to call the Doctor at 7pm. Tot would not stop coughing. I nebulized, I gave cough medicine, I panicked. He is the one that always get the bad stuff really quickly. Don't get me wrong, Tater had pneumonia of the left lung at 4 months... he certainly can worry me. Tot... Tot just has this knack for getting stuff and not having it really seen by me until it has hit a critically bad point.

Turns out the doctor had me put him in the hot steamy bathroom, give him prednisone and nebulize again. Phew. It worked. I stayed up and wrote posts for my sister, Tink, who had the blue screen of death and then decided to go play games so I could nebulize him one more time before I went to sleep. Not the best choice. I was up until 4am this morning. He decided at 10:30pm (when I was going to nebulize) would be a good time to have another coughing fit.

I also went and marked the following so I could have them in today's post:

Microsoft puts out a Blue Screen of Death screensaver that looks real. (cross posted at Tink's place, go there to get the link). Which reminded me of the old WinRoach program that would have roaches crawl everywhere when you moved a window. Or occasionally just crawl from one window to another.

GuyK had me rolling with laughter on THE POST he dedicated to Bou and myself. Go check it out.

Go wish OddyBobo congrats on her 10 pounds of weight loss!!!

AWTM has a duck recipe that sounds delicious!!! Check it out HERE.

Bou had me laughing with her ability to not hear properly when concentrating. HERE is that post. Not that it had anything to do with my posts on Vultures. ;-)

Pam gives us pictures of her 12 week old. Go Enjoy!

Practical asks if what works with her child will work with her husband in THIS POST. And congrats on the potty chair christening!

And if you have $14.95... THIS POST by Bitterroot will be what you are looking for!!!

Hair Cut Time

Things happen when Mom is not paying attention. Like the hair cut that Tater ended up having this time!



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Tot's hair cut is not that bad but it was definitely a fight to get it cut.

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

One day, Gramma sent her grandson Peter down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. "Now, where's my bucket and my water?" Gramma asked him."I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" criedPeter. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Peter. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!""Well, Gramma," replied Peter, "If he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

HatTip to Funny Humor

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.

"Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?"

"No" her mother replied.

"Well, I think I?m gonna be sick, Momma!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and then behind a bush."

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.

"Were you sick?" her mom asked.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?"

"I didn?t have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, ?For the Sick?."


HatTip to Humor Planet

Music Time

When ever I get a chance to sleep during the day while dad is around... the boys seem to know how to sneak in some noisy moments. While it was Tot playing the 'piano' while I was sleeping, it was Tater that posed for the picture:

103, Ears and Sleep

Sunday night Tot had a temp of 103. He waited until 10:30pm to get 'sick'. Yaa... and then yesterday morning around 10am he decided to tell me his ear hurt. Sigh. It is very hard to get into the doctor's office that day when you wait until 10am to call. We made it. They were running late... our appt was at 4:30pm, we saw her at 5:15. And it must have been a sick Monday. There was a 2 hour wait to get your prescription. Ugh.

We went home. Ate a very late dinner and put the boys to bed. I went to get the prescription. Got home, helped hubby out finding tax stuff, did NOT do housework and went to bed. Not much later the wakeups started.

It was a long night. I hate ear infections. Yaa, I'm whining. Now someone pass me that wine. GRIN

First ER Visit of 2007

Been a busy weekend. I was happy that it ended well, but some days I could just do without the insanity. Some of that is due to the fact that I can hear my mom in the background laughing her arse off. Yaa... I think my mom knew the names of every person in the emergency room as I was growing up. Because of me, not my sisters.

We went to the playground because I hounded my husband that we needed to get out of the house. While there, Tot tripped and fell. Both knees got skin'd up pretty bad. I held him until he calmed down and then Dad took him. Dad tried to put him down. When Tot stood up, he didn't. He cried and Dad picked him back up. We stayed so that Tater could get some running and exercise in for the day. I held Tot and tried the same thing. He really seemed like he was hurt when he tried to stand. Sigh.

We decided to go the ER sooner than later. Tot is not a cry baby. We get to ER, we get signed in and we sit in the waiting room. We wait. And wait. Finally Dad and Tater go play in the corner. Dad had mentioned that it looked like Tot was moving both legs quite a bit while sitting in my lap. Hmmm. Mom tries again to get Tot down and walking. Surprise, surprise... Tot walks over to Dad and Tater. uhhhhh... Mom offers some pretzels... Tot runs back.

Off to the nurse and let them we know we are leaving. The little turkey. She smiles and laughs as I point out how well he is walking. Nice to know he is ok, not so nice to spend 2 hours at the ER.

Painted Smile

The boys were painting on the back porch when Tot decided to paint a smile for me. I couldn't resist taking a picture:

How Many Are There Of You?

HatTip to Jenny

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UPDATE: I couldn't resist and put in Tink's current name. I kid you not...

There are 0 people in the U.S.!!!

Hmmmm... guess she doesn't exist!

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HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 2 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Rock Collection

Ever hear a rock in your Washer? Thought you got them all and then hear something banging around in your Dryer? Yaa... it's been a fun week. Tater (and sometimes Tot) have been collecting rocks. Those rocks are cars, spaceships, projectiles... and great for pockets. Here is a sample of what I see by my front door:



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Don't go barefooted out my door:

A "Free" Calendar

If you don't mind some Honda advertising on it... you can use Internet Explorer 6 or greater (not Firefox) and go to

THIS SITE

It will allow you to upload a picture for the calendar and print out the month's calendar that you selected. You will get the little bar across the top and need to activate and run the plugin that it needs.

Life With Kids

Needless to say that life with kids is always entertaining. Been just a weeee bit busy the last week. Here is an update:

1. Tot's eye is healed.
2. Tater's shoulder is completely healed and has two cool looking lumps of calcium on his bone.
3. Tot played Candyland from start to finish, following the rules. He even won!
4. It is registration time for preschool, and other items.
5. The boys' pc has stopped. I have been working on it for 2 nights. Make it 3 by the time you read this.

Tired, too much to do and not enough hours to do it in. Silly me... if I would just quit playing with my kids I am sure I would find time to do it all.

A New Blog Child

This child has been around for a while. But I now officially claim her as mine!!! She has some humor that is just perfect for me.

It does make an odd twist in the family since her husband is my blog-granddaddy. But hey, this is the BAD EXAMPLE family.

Go on over HERE and wish her welcome!